folken_forever (folken_forever) wrote,

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finally... and much releived

finally, the room is empty.
the girl has moved out, and now is with her boyfriend. i know this will be a happier ending for the two of them.
i stepped into the empty bedroom, bringing the note that she had left for me at my computer, saying that if i really wanted her out, to tell her upfront, which i did, so she left. putting the note on the table, i commented that, how can this not be a permanent thing. my voice echoed, and it startled me, because i have not heard that for a very long time now. the only way that it will not be permanent is for chrono to like move away and never to be seen...
but i brought them together, i don't want to make them apart...
so that is why it must be permanent.
though, there is a weight upon me... i don't know what it is. i'm through crying, so i guess i just don't know what to do next... the damn girl left some makeup here and small things though, i will have to dump them at their door sometime.
i'll get through this, somehow.
it's not much like, i want her back, but i was thinking today, about chrono's posts at his internet diary... yes, i want her!... i want her because i remember her saying that when she moves in, we would spend so much time together!... now it is he who has stollen my sister away... and after her seeing him, and i getting fed up with tagging along, i would be lucky to see her 5 minutes out of the whole week.
i remember after our first big argument, i bringing up that she moves in with him for the first time... she saying that she was excited at first about moving in with me, because she barely knew me... i barely know myself. but how is one to understand someone if they don't even see them hardly?!
they are even too scared to see me. they don't know what to do. i don't know either. i know that i could in like a week, get them to associate with me again, but that would cause me to put on the false facade. so, if they really want something to be done about this, they come to me.
i'm sick and tired of me being the one that has to do it!

well... i have work to do, but i don't think i'll be starting it now. i'll just have to wait
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